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"What Kind of Drugs Are You Taking? Don't Lie to Me."

By Andy, April 2, 2013
 
My name is Andy. In 2009 I had an episode where I had a major seizure in a corner store, I felt like I was drunk then I passed out and woke up in the hospital. The doctor in the emergency was yelling at me "What kind of drugs are you taking? Don't lie to me". I was very much out of sorts. I was sent to Victoria for a CAT scan and they told me they found a very large mass in my left frontal lobe of my brain. My family doctor told my wife I only had a few months to live. I signed off my life insurance and waited for more tests. I was sent back to Victoria for an MRI and they discovered it was not a tumor. They let me out of the Neuro ward and did not say anything after that. 
 
I was having a lot of communication issues with my wife and it got to a point where my marriage was about to end. I went to a counsellor to talk about any issues I had with my marriage and I told him about the mass that was found in my brain, he said that I should look into it more with a new doctor. I went to the new doctor and she asked me some questions about my life, about how I did in school, about my friendships, relationships and my marriage. 
 
The next appointment I had with her she asked for me to bring in my wife with me, she asked her about the problems with my relationship, my wife said he does not seem to listen to me, or remember things, and he can't seem to function as a responsible adult. My doctor told her that with my condition I was not capable of certain things in my thought patterns, memory issues, tasks and many other things. Sad to say that was the end of my marriage. My doctor put me on seizure medication that I am still on every day and I tried to carry on with my life.
 
It seemed that I got the brain damage at birth, and I grew up with many issues in school and with relationships. As a solution I turned to drugs to calm my nervousness and stresses that I seemed to always have. I never felt normal and was confused most of the time.
I felt like ending my life a lot of my early 9-14 years of age. Luckily I was a very creative artist and musician which gained me a lot of attention and friends that were very supportive of any need I had.
 
Now my marriage has ended, I blame myself and the losses of my kids and life. I do not have the doctor I had before and any other doctor I try to talk to says there is nothing wrong with me, it is all in my head. Yes it all in my head, I am trying to find my old doctor for help, but I feel there is an issue with the medical system, they do not understand the conditions that can stem from this kind of condition.
 
I have lost work because of it, I am having a problem finding a good job in my field. I am off drugs for some time now and I am feeling the repercussions of telling a psychiatrist that I smoked pot to cope with my confusion. In his report he says I am fully functional, I have delusions of a brain injury and symptoms come from my use of pot. He would put me on all the ADD medication in the world all at once but it made me non functional. 
 
There is discrimination in the world with brain injury and I will never tell an employer or any other person about ever again. It seems there is not much help for me out there and I am turning to this group for any support or contacts.  
 
--Andy
 
andypoystila@gmail.com